


Dancing On My Own

by NikkiGrand



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, I hope you like angst and beer, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-18 10:53:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21509875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NikkiGrand/pseuds/NikkiGrand
Summary: Inspired by Robyn's "Dancing On My Own" and set to the tune of ODESZA's "A Moment Apart""Sasuke always did that to her—made her wonder at the emotions she felt, made her curse them and hate them and wish she didn’t feel anything at all. Maybe then she wouldn’t be choking on her misery, standing alone in a corner, nursing her beer as if it were the actual pieces of her broken heart."
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	Dancing On My Own

It hurt but she pretended it didn’t.

Sakura stood in the corner of Konoha’s newest bar, fourth bottle of beer tracing the seam of her lips pensively. There was a live band playing some old song that had the crowd dancing and singing along, lights flashing and strobing in tune with the music. Bodies jostled her as they moved, but she ignored them all, her eyes riveted to a corner where she could see the glow of her teammate’s bright blonde head. The swirling lights caught his face and she could see him grinning brilliantly at something the girl next to him must have said. She smiled up at him, her hand curling around his bicep, and they both turned—inadvertently giving her their back—to speak to the person who unknowingly held all of Sakura’s attention.

Neon lights bathed his face in pink as Sasuke rolled his eyes, but there didn’t seem to be any heat behind it. He lifted his own bottle of beer and drank from it smoothly, gracefully in a way that only Sasuke could make drinking beer an art. Her eyes followed the bobbing of his Adam’s apple as he drank, and then the lifting of his arm to settle across the shoulders of some girl she’d never seen before. Naruto must have said something funny, because Sasuke’s lips curled into a smirk and the girl next to him politely covered her giggles with a dainty hand. She watched as Sasuke’s arm tightened around this strange girl, pulling her closer and tucking her into his side—watched her wrap a skinny arm around his waist in turn, her hand resting familiarly along his side as he traced small circles onto her bare shoulder.

Sakura’s lips tightened as a pang went through her chest. The beer muddled her thoughts, made her feel things she wouldn’t normally allow herself to feel, and it kept her eyes glued to these boys she’d known almost all her life. She’d heard from the gossip channels in the hospital that her teammates were notorious womanizers and, normally, she’d laugh and say she was glad they were having their fun; but tonight, with alcohol fueling that painful flame in her chest, she could admit in some way that it hurt—she could admit she wasn’t okay.

Naruto swooped in to steal a kiss from the girl whose name she’s sure he didn’t remember, the girl enthusiastically wrapping her arms around his shoulders to deepen the kiss. Sakura smiled a little at the sight (even as her heart went out to Hinata whose own heart was crushed every time she heard a girl brag about her night with the boy she’d loved all her life) because, of them all, Naruto deserved to feel desired. Watching him with other girls never bothered her; no—it was his companion who made her feel things she didn’t even know how to name.

Sasuke always did that to her—made her wonder at the emotions she felt, made her curse them and hate them and wish she didn’t feel anything at all. Maybe then she wouldn’t be choking on her misery, standing alone in a corner, nursing her beer as if it were the actual pieces of her broken heart.

Sasuke, in her mind and in her heart, had always had a clear label to his place in her life. He was _Sasuke-kun:_ teammate, the love of her life, the boy she’d go to the ends of the Earth for. But when he returned home, that label had been smudged, erased, and rewritten.

He became _Sasuke-kun:_ teammate, friend, _family_ , the boy she would still go to the ends of the Earth for. But, no matter how hard she tried to keep him there—to keep him neatly categorized in her mind as those things—she could still see the smudges in the places where he was still etched onto her heart.

Somehow, over the years, they had fallen into an easy friendship. Sakura didn’t know if he had simply assumed she had moved on, but they never spoke of what hung between them—if there was even anything on his end to begin with. She found that years of peace had been good to him. He was freer with his emotions now and she could see the little boy she had fallen in love with so long ago in these familiar, but not, things that made him _Sasuke_. It was in the dimples of his cheeks when he laughed, the fond twinkle in his eye when Naruto did something especially stupid, and, most of all, in the stubborn jut of his lip when he found something he wanted to protect and care for.

Things were different now— _he_ was different. He was softer, lighter, everything she knew he could be and that changed _them_ too. As kids, they were never truly _friends—_ at least, not in the way he and Naruto were friends—but now…Sakura could say with confidence that Sasuke was one of her best friends. He trusted her, confided in her, and finally— _finally—_ believed in her as a teammate.

And it was easy to pretend like she was content with just his friendship, like she was okay with watching him do his own thing in the world, moving onto that next step in his life where he would be his own person apart from Team 7—where he would adopt a new label in her life that wasn’t hers to make—until she stood in a corner of a bar surrounded by people who knew her, loved her even, and yet still so lonely and utterly _alone_.

Here, in this darkened corner where the light barely reached, bottle warm in her hand, she could allow herself to feel the longing and envy unfurl in her chest like a morbid lotus as Sasuke curled his hands around his date’s jaw to kiss her gently, deeply. She felt stupid; but she needed to see for herself that he could find love elsewhere, that he was moving on and once again leaving her behind.

And it was funny, the way this whole thing worked. She’d accompanied them to this bar because they asked, because _he_ asked her to, and yet they’d forgotten all about her. Unflinchingly, like she’d done many times before, Sakura supported them and was there for them whenever they needed her. But she had disappeared into the crowd about an hour ago, finding her way into this corner to watch them meet dates she hadn’t known they’d invited, and they were so engrossed in their flirting they didn’t even notice she hadn’t returned—like she no longer existed.

She felt _so_ _stupid_ , so goddamn lame, lost in a corner watching Sasuke kiss a girl he could maybe someday grow to love, and she just wanted him to _see_ her for once in his life. Not as Team 7’s kunoichi, not as just a friend, but as a woman.

Turning away, she bit her lip and made her way to the bar to buy another beer and swiftly finished the one she held as she walked. She lingered at the bar, striking up a conversation with the bartender to keep her mind off the man she’d left in the crowd.

Beers came and went, and by her eighth, she didn’t want to stand still anymore. Her fingers trailed along the bar as if to imprint the wooden grain along her fingertips—as if _reminding_ herself that she had been there, that she _was_ _here,_ that she _did_ exist—as she drifted onto the dancefloor with leaden feet. The bass of upbeat music pounded within her sternum, rising the fine hairs along her body as she made her way to the center. People parted for her only for a moment before she was swallowed by gyrating and jumping bodies.

And here, too, among them, she was lost.

Sakura spun in circles, hands lifted high above her head as the music pulsed within her, and in the shelter of the crowd, she allowed herself to _feel_. She felt the beat set a new rhythm for her heart, she felt the sweat on her skin as if they were the tears she was so unwilling to shed. She ran her hands up her body, bouncing on her feet with the others, and imagined someone with her—someone who loved her and wanted her. She pictured him behind her, following the path of her hands along her torso, pressing against her and breathing along her neck. Here, alone in the anonymity granted in the dark, a stranger’s back whispering against her own, she could pretend.

But she didn’t _want_ to pretend, she was _tired_ of pretending. Against her will, her eyes found Sasuke in the crowd directly across from her—found him pressed to the girl dancing provocatively against him, rubbing against him in a show of what was to come. His eyes were riveted to her bent over form, a hand on her hip and another splayed along her waist as he moved with her, and Sakura’s eyes pinched at the way he bit his lip in clear desire.

Pink hair whipped about her face as she danced, now jumping and bouncing and smiling even as tears beaded at the corners of her eyes. She begged him with her heart as she tossed her head back to look at the moving lights, sending out a call into the universe with all her might.

_Look at me!_

She wanted him to _see_ her. She wanted him to look at her that way, she wanted him to dance with her like that, she wanted to go home with him and hold him and love him and be loved in return.

_I’m right over here!_

Sakura spun in circles and her feet ungraciously slipped on shards of broken glass. The interruption and the whorl of emotions in her gut made her pause. In a moment of clarity, she questioned what she was doing, swayed and asked why she was doing this to herself and what she sought to gain. Her arms hung limply at her side, blinking tears out of her eyes and ignoring the tracks they cut down her face.

_Why can’t you see me?_

She felt hazy and vulnerable, confused and drunk. She passed a shaky hand across her eyes, swallowing against the cottony lump in her throat and searched for Sasuke’s downy head or Naruto’s halo among the crowd. She was ready to go home. 

It was only by virtue of turning her head in the right direction at the right time that she managed to catch a glimpse of Sasuke’s lean figure slipping out the exit, his date’s hand clutched tightly in his own as she followed behind him with a bounce in her step. Beyond the door, she could see a small glimpse of Naruto standing outside with his arm across his date’s shoulders before the door shut behind them and on her and the rest of the world. 

Sakura’s eyes closed even as she stood still in the middle of the dance floor, forgotten and alone, bass still pounding within her chest, and she inhaled deeply—shakily—then smiled as wet lashes kissed the apples of her cheeks.

It was okay. It was easy to pretend.

She’d just keep dancing on her own.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys. It's been a long time. 
> 
> I'm sorry I haven't been as active on fandom or my stories. It's been a very hard, rough year. I won’t release too many details as this is a secret profile lol, but hold your loved ones tight and tell them you love them every day.
> 
> I took a long break and even then I don't enjoy writing as much as I used to, especially romance or anything fluff. Not for right now, at least. Everything's pretty angst, lol.
> 
> But anyway, I'm a little rusty, but I hope this made you feel something. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think, and THANK YOU for your patience! <3


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